My commitment to opposing racism is more important than my fear of being called racist

I used to be afraid to think deeply about racism, let alone speak openly about my thoughts. I saw people being scolded and shamed on the internet for saying the ‘wrong thing’ or not saying the ‘right thing’ enough, or in the ‘right way’, sometimes resulting in major material consequences in their lives. I was encouraged to identify with racism, to see it as a deep and permanent part of myself that I would always need to publicly renounce and guard against. I was told to ‘listen to black voices’ or told with authority what the ‘bipoc community’ thinks, but rarely were the actual ideas and writing of black and racialized intellectuals and organizers engaged with, and never were dissenting voices of black and racialized intellectuals and organizers, who have different ideas about how to oppose racism, heard.